Top Reasons Families Fight about Home Care

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Resolving Family Conflict about Elder Care

Providing home care to an aging loved one can become more of a challenge when families disagree over how – or even if – care should be provided. Such matters can be compounded by emotional and financial burdens or widely differing points of views.

Because knowing where conflict stems from can help to ensure a senior loved one’s quality of life, Home Care Assistance of the Lehigh Valley wanted to share some of the top reasons families fight about home care:

  • Financial Issues – There may be disagreements over what care is really necessary and who is going to foot the bill when certain medications, procedures or health care costs are not covered by insurance or Medicare.
  • Excessive Burden – One or two family members may do most or all of the actual caregiving, creating resentment and a sense of being overburdened. It can be difficult for one family member to understand the point of view of another, causing additional tension and an overall deterioration of family bonds.
  • Estate Issues – Some family members may feel that they may not receive what they perceive to be their due inheritance if one family member is making all of the care decisions, especially if power of attorney is sought.

Another reason families may fight about home care is because siblings often revert to childhood roles and behaviors. For instance, the youngest sibling may not be able to fully share his or her opinions because an older sibling is constantly talking over them or writing them off. The youngest is seen as the “baby” of the family, even if his or her points about how care should be provided are valid.

In other cases, the sibling that has always been viewed as “the favorite” may be more likely to side with what the parent wants, even though the parent may not be capable of making such decisions. You may, for example, think that it’s time for your elderly father to turn over his keys and rely on family members to help run errands, while your brother may think that it’s cruel to take away dad’s driving privileges.

If your family is unable to make a decision about how to care for mom or dad, reach out to Home Care Assistance of the Lehigh Valley and schedule a complimentary, no-obligation consultation with a friendly Care Manager. An outside perspective may help you better understand your loved one’s needs. Hiring a caregiver can also allow siblings to return to their roles as loving sons and daughters, not caregivers.  Call us today at 484-350-3874 and learn more about hourly and live-in care for seniors in the Lehigh Valley.


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